


Unrequited love

by TheBeautyOfTarth



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon(ish), F/M, First Love, Marriage Proposal, POV First Person, Pod's POV, Unrequited Love, kinda hurt, pod is not a ladies man, the Podrick Payne from the books
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 13:52:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11149776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBeautyOfTarth/pseuds/TheBeautyOfTarth
Summary: I had known her for a while now. The lady was not a beauty by any means but I still loved her.





	Unrequited love

Unrequited love

I had known her for a while now. The lady was not a beauty by any means but I still loved her. She was tall and imposing, a remarkable swordswoman, strong but gentle, honorable and loyal to the point of madness. With the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I’ve ever seen. The first time I laid eyes on her I found her quite an oddity, I was skeptical of her worthiness but my appreciation of her changed almost immediately. I saw her act with much more chivalry than any other knight I’ve ever met. I saw her protect the weak not expecting anything in return even at the risk of her own life. She had cured and bandaged my wounds and saved my life more than once. She had helped me even though it wasn't her duty. She had even noticed me when no one else did.

When we arrived north, Winterfell had been overcrowded so I had to share her rooms at night. It wasn't uncommon for us to share living space with each other even if it was highly inappropriate for an unwed lady to sleep near a man in her rooms but no one batted an eye about it. They all though her too mannish to be considered a woman -except for a few wildlings that paid the price of their audacity- they were nothing but fools. I had seen her and I knew they did not know their own words, she was certainly a woman. That same people also considered me hardly a man but I was already a man grown and she was my Lady.  
  
I had waited to the right timing to tell her how I felt. I knew I was unworthy of her, she was an heiress, I a simple squire. A landless Payne, the less of a lesser house. But I trusted her to see so much more on me than simple titles for I knew they meant nothing to my lady.  
  
But then the Kingslayer came to Winterfell as imposing and handsome as ever and with an army at his back claiming he was ready to die in battle against the undead. I knew better, he had come for my lady-ser. Ever since his arrival lady Brienne set me aside favoring the kingslayer's company over mine. Now the morning sword practice was theirs only and when I had tried to join them in vain -to prove my lady I could also be strong enough- she had ordered me to go and tend the horses.

It didn't take long for my lady to ask me to find new arrangements for my bedding. She was sharing her bed with the kingslayer while I now stayed in a room crowded with some other squires and edge knights. I knew her enough to know she wouldn't give her honor to such an unworthy man as him but I admit my lady had a sole flaw that could soil her forever. She was in love with the man as much as I was in love with her. And I knew love made people act recklessly.

I tried to counsel my lady in vain but she was determined to 'help' the kingslayer whatever that meant. I did not yield and insisted some could think her conspiring with the lions. Some even called her filthy names on her back. She did not listen for she was much in love. But I knew how to test the object of her affections, someone had to talk to the instigator of such troubles.

I requested to have a private word with him about matters of urgency but my resolve was failing once I had the man in front of me. My years as a servant of his family did not help, I was still shy despite knowing at the end of the world family names and titles mattered little. He urged me to speak and speak I did. I told her the new names she was given the moment he made his interest in her known, he told me words were wind. I reminded him his vows as a Kingsguard but he claimed he was already free of his oath. I also stated how unworthy of the lady he was, that much he did not deny. I demanded him to leave my lady's chamber or I would challenge him to a duel to restore my lady's honor. He laughed at me and threatened to chop my head off if I ever spoke to my liege Lord in such a manner again. Regardless that, the kingslayer slept on his own chamber that same night, then I knew he appreciated her indeed.

I went to my lady’s and asked her to be restored to my former corner in her chamber but she denied it to me. The kingslayer told her what I did, she was mad at me. She should be angry at the one that soiled her reputation but instead she scolded me for my efforts to maintain her name pure. I stated he was a disgraced knight, unworthy of my lady and also told her that her _infatuation_ for the kingslayer was making her look like a fool.

  
"What do you even know about love anyway Pod?" She slammed the door shut right on my face.

 

I didn't see her in three days. Finally, at the fourth day I had a glance of her on the practice yard. She was with the kingslayer as if nothing had happened. I resolved to tell her once and for all that I loved her.

I went to the godswood in search of a winter rose for my lady. I knew there was a bush somewhere there, I had often seen lady Sansa come back with some of them after her morning prayer sessions. I finally found a bush but it had no flowers in it, I was crestfallen until I saw one small winter rose deep in it. The old gods had smiled upon me.

My hand was bleeding because of the thorns but I did not care, I had a blue rose for my blue lady-knight so I immediately headed to my lady’s rooms.

I was about to knock the door when I heard a pair of ragged voices "say yes wench, marry me" the kingslayer urged her, I could hear the unmistakable sound of clothes hitting the floor. “Jaime” she whispered almost desperately. I opened the door. Her gambeson and woolen clothes were on the floor, Lady Brienne had her tunic unleashed and her hair looked like a bird’s nest, her cheeks where flushed and her lips swollen, they were freshly kissed.

They looked at me and at least the kingslayer had the decency to look ashamed. Lady Brienne looked terrified to be caught in such compromising situation, but relaxed once she recognized me. She had a quizzical look on her then her view went to my hand, the one carrying the flower. She looked me in the eye again but now her eyes were full of pity. I could not bear that look. Without a word, I dropped the rose and left.   
  
The godswood was a quiet place indeed, at that moment I understood lady Sansa’s insistence of visiting it every day.

"Pod" I did not reply but she took a place in the log next to me anyway "I'm sorry" she finally said

 But I was mad, I did not reply. Instead, I focused on the leaves floating on the pond ...I could not be mad at her for too long, though. "He doesn't deserve you my lady" I said after a while

"I don't deserve him either" she was sincere, how could she say that? She was the most honorable person I knew, she was worthy of every praise and admiration. He, on the other hand… I kept my mouth shut.

"Show me your hand" I obeyed and she wrapped a handkerchief on it to cover my cuts  
  
"I want you to know that I care for you very much. You are not just my squire but a true friend. You will always be welcome to my household and will always have a place at my table"

“that is not what I want” I replied exasperated “I want _you_ my lady”

She went silent at my declaration, lowered her head and started to kick aside some small rocks with her foot. Several minutes passed like this until my lady finally spoke “you already know I used to serve king Renly and it is not a secret I was foolishly in love with him. I was there when he married lady Margaery. I won’t deny it isn’t difficult to see the person you ...” she sighed but looked at me “I assure you the pain is fleeting, it goes away with time”

"You said yes" I understood then

"Not yet, but I will. We don't choose who we love Pod but we can choose how we want to keep going” Lady Brienne stood up "will you be happy for me?"

I wanted to say no, but I didn’t "I will" I smiled at my lady to reassure her I was going to be fine even if it was not true.

.

.

.

A fortnight later I saw them wed. They exchanged cloaks under the weirwood in sight of the old gods and the noble men and women gathered there. I saw them holding hands. I saw them smile and dance. I saw them head to their chambers as man and wife. I was heartbroken. That night i curled up in my furs, with a handkerchief for company, and silently wept.

I remember she once asked me what did I knew about love. Well, I know this: It Hurts. It’s been a while and I'm still waiting for the pain to go away.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> I dont really know how old is Pod in this fic, i guess 14 maybe? cant really remember his age on the books. Brienne has like 21. Kinda based in the movie 'little manhattan', just the general idea of a kid's first love and all the suffering that it implies to be in love... or some crap like that.  
> i'm going to sleep (_-_)


End file.
